We’ll say it straight-up: There is no good reason in the world to hang onto these marriage habits. They aren’t helping your marriage, and they are leading your divorce relationship. There are so many bad marriage habits that will destroy your marriage and cause divorce. Marriages are very delicate, and if you aren’t careful, you can hurt your relationship.
You have to have a solid foundation first to grow together as a couple. This foundation keeps the little things from damaging your marriage to the point where divorce is the only option.
If it’s not too late for you to save your relationship by the time you figure out what bad habits you’re contributing, try to fix it! Marriages are not something you should easily give up on. But if you realize what you’re doing, you can save your relationship before it ultimately leads to divorce. Consciously acknowledge the toxic habit and ensure you do your best not to continue this behavior.
Here are 8 high-risk married couple habits that inevitably lead to divorce:
1. Nagging
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We know about the squeaky wheel, but complaining loud and long gets you only short-term gains and builds up powerful discontent on your spouse’s side. One Danish study from the University of Copenhagen stated that having a nagging partner can significantly shorten one’s life.
2. Blaming, criticizing, and name-calling
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These tactics belittle the person you promised to love, honor, and cherish; they let you play angel to his or her devil and don’t address the responsibility you share for your marital happiness.
3. Bullying, rudeness, and selfishness
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These ugly power plays tell your partner that he or she doesn’t count at all in your eyes.
4. Peacekeeping and passive placating
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A “whatever you say, Dear” attitude may keep your home quieter, but it leaves you in the martyr’s role. You’ll end up angry, defensive, and a drudge. What fun is that?
5. Deploying logic all the time
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Life isn’t the Starship Enterprise. Playing the dispassionate Mr. Spock not only cuts you off from your feelings but also subtly tells your spouse that his or her feelings don’t count either.
6. Throwing up distractions
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You’re just having fun, right? Think again. Being hyperactive, fooling around all the time, and refusing to focus — in conversation or in life — often is an attempt to avoid intimacy or difficult issues, which can be horribly frustrating for your mate.
7. Stonewalling
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Another stall maneuver, stonewalling, stops arguments and constructive discussions cold. Not much can happen when one spouse just won’t talk about it. Stonewalling, according to the Gottman Insitute, is one of the biggest ways to ruin your marriage.
8. Making unilateral decisions about the big things
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Sometimes you have to pick the bathroom paint color on your own. But suppose you’re making major decisions about your money, your time, your kids, and your family life. In that case, you’re acting without accountability and cutting off the possibility of joint decision-making and deeper intimacy.
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