Having an argument with your partner can be very stressful for both of you. In an ideal situation, both of you will talk things out until you come to a resolution that is fair to both parties. But what happens when a guy ignores you after an argument? If he resorts to leaving the house after a fight?
In this article, you will learn what to do when he goes silent after an argument.
In this article, you will learn what to do when he goes silent after an argument.
Being Ignored Hurts
Couples can argue about anything. It can be about something as trivial as deciding who should do the dishes or as serious as deciding whether you should continue with the relationship or break up. These issues can be addressed or avoided through communication and conflict resolution strategies, but when you’re in a fight, it’s hard to stay objective and level-headed.
Disagreements between couples are an indication of communication issues. These are hard to navigate but are ultimately very flexible as long as both parties are willing to talk and compromise. But what happens if your man ignores you after an argument?
My Boyfriend Ignores Me After a Fight. What Should I Do?
As the other half of the couple in the relationship, it can be frustrating when you man storms off after a heated discussion. Most women assume the worst when they start thinking “my boyfriend is ignoring me after a fight, is this the end of our relationship?”. It doesn’t have to be.
Ignoring does not solve everything, but it might be a good opportunity to have a moment to think. While he’s away, think of your part in the argument. Did you say or do something that would upset him? Were you insensitive to him? Make the most out of this temporary break and look at the issue objectively before reaching out to him.
He’s Ignoring You, But It Doesn’t Mean He Hates You
A man ignores his partner after an argument for different reasons. It hurts to be ignored, but before jumping to conclusions, here are some reasons why:
· Anger. He is angry but doesn’t want to lash out at you.
· Coping. He pulls away after a fight because it’s his default reaction to fights.
· Confusion. Things probably escalated quickly and need a moment to figure things out.
· Guilt. He’s aware that he did something to hurt you but can’t face you at the moment.
· Hurt. You did or said something that hurt him.
· It does not have anything to do with you. There could be something on his mind and he does not want to discuss it just yet. It could be a private family matter or a work-related concern that you’re not privy to.
Patience is key, especially for couples. Men and women have different approaches to dealing with arguments. Just because he’s not interested in having a long conversation doesn’t mean he doesn’t care. It could be that he’s just trying to figure out the quickest way to resolve the conflict and make the tension go away.
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What To Do When He Blocks You After A Fight
The worst thing that could happen when your boyfriend leaves or ignores you after a fight is to have no contact after a fight. He goes somewhere you don’t know, and you have no idea whether something bad has happened or if he’s in a safe place. Here are some things that you can do:
· Try to look for him at places he likes to go when he wants to relax (a movie theater, a park, his parent’s house, etc.).
· Contact his close friends and family. Ask if he’s with them or if he has contacted them.
Tip: the important thing is to make sure that he’s in a safe place. Don’t rush to meet him if he needs time to be alone. Don’t let your own anxiety take over the situation and make things worse.
As his partner, try to understand his perspective too. If you want to have a discussion about the argument, raise the important points but try to say it in fewer words. He could also just need some time and space to think. Give him what he needs.
The Struggle is Real
“my boyfriend is always ignoring me after a fight”
“my boyfriend ignores me for days”
“my husband always leaves when we fight”
“my boyfriend is mad at me and ignoring me”
“he won’t talk to me after a fight”
These are some of the things that girlfriends and wives complain about when their boyfriend or husband ignores them after a fight. When your partner ignores you, you have no idea what’s on their mind and you can’t discuss anything.
These feelings are valid, and it’s definitely something that has to be discussed moving forward. Do not allow this to be a pattern in your relationship as it does not healthy to sweep things under the rug and pretend as nothing happened. Both of you have to reach a point where you can discuss concerns in a level-headed manner and come to a fair resolution.
What to Do Moving Forward
Give each other space. Once emotions have calmed down, try to look at the situation objectively. Focus on the facts before shifting to feelings and emotions.
Start with trust. Trust that your partner does not want to hurt you intentionally. He might have made a mistake, so allow him to explain his side of the story. Trust that he won’t abandon you, but he might just need time to think of things. Tip: If he’s not consulting you, It’s probably because he wants a different perspective.
Instead of coming into a conversation with an argumentative approach, try to approach a conversation from the perspective of clarifications first. Call out the actions or words that triggered you, but don’t forget to apologize for your faults.
Improving Your Relationship
Talk about ways on how to approach difficult situations. Come to some agreements so that you know what to do if you have arguments in the future.
If he ignores you for a long time, reach out to his best friend or close family members, but don’t divulge details that you know he does not want to share with others (don’t make it worse!). Ask them for strategies on how to get your partner to open up.
Let it rest. Sometimes, it’s not a big deal at all. Give him space and let him open up to you when he’s ready.
Consult a counselor. If this has become a pattern in your relationship, consult a relationship counselor to improve communication. If you keep arguing and ignoring each other, there’s something not working. Both of you might benefit from learning about different communication strategies.
Building Bridges and Compromising
It’s always best to resolve conflicts by communicating and talking things through. Sometimes, walking away and ignoring someone is the best option instead of saying or doing something that can make things worse. However, ignoring is not a solution to a problem. It might help diffuse the tension, but there is the danger of sweeping things under the rug once emotions have calmed down.
Take Care of Yourself
As the other half of the couple—the person who has been ignored but still has to find a way to communicate, you should also take care of yourself. The fallout from the fight and his ignoring you can take a toll on your wellbeing.
Proactively care for yourself so that you are better equipped to reach out a partner who, in a time of tension, chose to put up a wall instead of communicating. Recharge by doing things that you love such as spending time with your family and friends.
Putting yourself in a vulnerable position can be exhausting. However, with some patience and understanding, you and your partner will be able to take the necessary steps to prevent this from becoming a pattern in the relationship.
Being ignored hurts, but try not to get back at your partner for doing that to you. As you and he grow into the relationship, you will find a way to communicate and understand each other better.
Final Thoughts
A guy ignores his partner after an argument for various reasons—although things might seem so heightened and intense, it doesn’t necessarily mean that he hates you. Unfortunately, this experience can be anxiety-inducing because you are left in the dark about how he feels and what he thinks. You are unaware if anything you said or did hurt him, and if he did something that hurt you, you are not able to talk to him about it. No one likes being ignored.
Resources
- https://redefiningus.co/post/what-to-say-when-a-guy-ignores-you-after-an-argument/
- https://www.bonobology.com/reasons-guy-ignores-fight/
- https://hackspirit.com/what-to-do-when-a-guy-ignores-you-after-an-argument/
