Despite what the delicate flowers of “Rock of Love” would have you believe, getting wasted on a date isn’t always the way to go. Best case scenario, a glass of wine helps you relax and enjoy yourself. On the other end of the spectrum, after six cosmos, you end up throwing up on your date, making a complete jackass of yourself in public and getting banned from Chili’s for life.
Do we even need to mention ruining your chances with a potential Mr. Right through your jank behavior? The point here is to exercise some courtesy and behave in a manner that’s going to show off your sparkling personality while making you and your date comfortable and safe — not completely embarrassed.
Let’s use a first date lasting a couple of hours and a woman who’s a light-to-moderate drinker as an example. Adjust as necessary, depending on your hooch-tolerance level.
Drink One
You’re sizing this guy up, still feeling nervous and not really sure you even want to extend the date beyond a single beverage.
Drink Two
You’re not really sure that you can live with a guy who’s into “World of Warcraft.” But by the time this drink is drained you’re willing to entertain the notion. This should probably be your cue to go home and think it over in front of a “Real Housewives” rerun.
Drink Three
His lazy eye is starting to look kind of charming. You’re pretty sure you’re slaying him with your endless repertoire of “yo mama” jokes. Why does he keep yawning and looking at his watch?
Drink Four
What’s one more? Bring on another amaretto sour! So what if you just sloshed half of it all over your new suede boots and the other half all over him? Your date’s getting a little grabby, but you can’t think clearly if that’s OK with you or not. You’re too busy telling him about the time you peed your pants on the seventh-grade field trip and ignoring the look of horror spreading across his face.
Drink Five
You can’t even see your date clearly anymore, nor call anyone reliable for a ride or to walk you home. Your only hope is to sit here for the next few hours, pounding glass after glass of water (coffee’s not gonna save you now). And that’s if you have the wherewithal to play it safe and stay put.
What can seem cute and flirty after one drink can quickly become unseemly, sloppy and just plain dangerous a few drinks later. There’s nothing wrong with unwinding and having some fun, but if it impairs your ability to find out if you really like this guy or if he’s really trustworthy, what’s the point? If you’re smashed, you’re not exactly putting your best face forward, either.
Let’s face it: Dating is like a job interview. Only after you’re secure in your position can you start slacking off and gutting fish at your desk, “Office Space”–style. You get the idea.
