You met your dream man on a Monday night at a social mixer. They couldn’t keep their eyes off you. There was instant chemistry. They ask you out for Friday night, which appears to be a good sign as it’s one of the weekend evenings. They take your phone number, send you a flirty text message on your ride home, and say they can’t wait until Friday night. You remember your first kiss the whole ride home.
You think about what’s on your calendar in the next week and how you can rearrange your schedule to fit them in, even before your first date. You call your B.F.F. with great enthusiasm about the new person you have met. Your body tingles with excitement. Is your imagination getting the best of you? Perhaps. Is this love at first sight, or is he stringing you along?
Here are odd behaviors that mean a man is stringing you along with no intention to commit:
1. He cancels your first date
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Unless they are sick or have a business meeting out of town, your dream date may have been caught up in the moment when they double-booked you. If you hear excuses like they have the flu or a relative came in from out of town at the last minute, are they actually into you? If they were, they wouldn’t break your first date.
Pew Research Center suggests that canceling a first date can often be interpreted as a sign of a lack of commitment or interest. It demonstrates a lack of willingness to invest time and effort in getting to know someone new, especially at the initial stage of dating when establishing a connection is crucial.
2. He asks you out for weeknight dates only
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If you become the Wednesday night woman, you should wonder what they do on Friday or Saturday nights. After a few dates, it’s only appropriate to be on their calendar on a weekend evening.
When a guy primarily suggests weeknight dates, it can indicate a lack of commitment because weeknights are typically filled with work, other obligations, and less flexibility. A study published in Personality and Social Psychology Review suggests he prioritizes his schedule over dedicating significant time to you, potentially signifying a casual approach to dating rather than a desire to build a serious relationship.
3. He doesn’t introduce you to his friends or family
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After a few months of dating and several conversations about upcoming events with their friends and family they never follow up with you about, don’t believe they are going to those events alone. There’s probably someone else who is higher on their priority list.
You aren’t their number one choice. Sure, they will sound logical, but their excuses will keep you hanging on promises of another event to make sure they can still get with you.
4. He calls you last minute for dates
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If your dream date calls you the day or even the day before a date to get together, don’t get excited and change your plans with your friends to accommodate them. You aren’t a priority if you aren’t on the calendar at least several days beforehand.
They might invite several people out at once. The date of the night will be decided by whoever responds first.
When someone frequently calls you at the last minute for dates, it can be interpreted as a sign they have no intention of committing. This demonstrates a need for more planning, time prioritization, and a casual approach to the relationship. A 2020 study suggests they are only interested in something convenient or spontaneous rather than building a deeper connection.
5. He consistently cancel dates at the last minute
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If you are getting canceled on the day of your date more than once, it’s a red flag. Don’t put up with it. Trust me, the dog did not eat his calendar.
6. He introduces you as a friend
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If you are dating someone who only calls you their friend, not their lover, significant other, or pet name in public, you’re likely a friend with benefits. Who cares if they bring you flowers? It’s time to leave your dream world and find someone who wants to call you their one and only.
A study published in the Journal of the International Association for Relationship Research suggests that a friends-with-benefits arrangement generally indicates a lack of intention to commit from either partner. The core concept of this dynamic is casual physical intimacy without the expectation of a serious relationship, which often leads to confusion and potential emotional complications when one develops deeper feelings.
7. He disappears for days at a time
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When your lover is M.I.A., especially on the weekends, reappears with no explanation as if nothing is wrong, don’t give them the benefit of the doubt. They’re more than a dating disappearing act. They’re a professional date juggler.
8. He’s vague and mysterious
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While you might think it’s alluring to have a little mystery in the relationship when your date is consistently vague about their whereabouts, they’re hiding something. A person who is into you and isn’t juggling multiple other partners will have no problem freely sharing their information and will tell the truth.
Their stories will be consistent. If you catch them lying, they are likely lying to other people as well. Being vague in a relationship is often seen as a sign of a lack of commitment.
It avoids clearly defining the relationship’s status and future, leaving partners uncertain and insecure about their situation. According to a 2010 study, this could indicate a reluctance to invest fully in the partnership.
9. He often meet ‘business associates’ after business hours
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If your lover consistently goes to business mixers in the evening to meet with potential clients, chances are they’re dating other people. They’ll likely be referring to you as the same.
Julie Spira is America’s top online dating expert and Mobile Dating Expert.
