So let’s get this question right out of the way – is being clingy bad? The very short answer is YES, it’s HORRIBLE to be clingy. And not many people realize they’re doing this until it’s way too late.
That’s why it’s time we talk about why it’s absolutely horrible to be clingy in dating and in relationships in general.
Imagine you’re out there trying to navigate the treacherous waters of dating; you’re meeting lots of new women, some of them are good, some aren’t. Then you eventually meet one you’re REALLY into because she just hits all your boxes and checks. And suddenly you find yourself texting her every minute, wondering if they’re thinking about you, and checking if they’ve read your messages yet. Or you’re showering her with way too much attention and affection and it’s smothering her.
If this sounds familiar, we need to have a serious talk about why being clingy might just be the ultimate relationship buzzkill. So grab a comfy seat, and let’s dive in!
Being Clingy In A Relationship Will Doom It Right From The Start
I’m not trying to be overly dramatic here, but I’m serious when I say that all relationships are DOOMED to fail if one or both partners are inherently clingy.
Sure, at first it might be cute or adorable or even pleasant when someone just wants to be with you and around you ALL OF THE TIME. But eventually you realize that’s just not a healthy way to be together with someone. And then the real problems begin.
Here are some great examples of clingy behavior.
The Overzealous Texting Syndrome
Imagine this: You’ve just met someone awesome and you’re buzzing with excitement.
Your first instinct? Bombard them with texts!
But here’s the thing – no one wants to feel like they’re being stalked by a text message ninja. Someone who just texts and texts all the time, about every little thing.
So get this: A happy and healthy relationship requires a healthy amount of space. And when you’re hitting “send” every few minutes, it can feel a bit overwhelming, to say the least. Plus it also shows that you don’t have anything better to do with your life and your time, if all you do is sit on your phone.
Think of it like this: if you’re constantly texting the other person, it’s like trying to have a deep conversation while someone’s constantly pestering and interrupting you. It’s uncomfortable and gets annoying real fast.
So unless you’re very deep into a relationship and have daily chores and other business together, texting a girl every day is a huge no no!
The Mystery is Gone
Remember when meeting someone new and dating them at the start was like solving a fun, mysterious puzzle? The thrill of wondering what the other person is up to and when you’ll see them next?
Clinginess is like handing them the answer key before the game even starts, to every little idea and secret you possess.
Relationships need a bit of mystery and anticipation for them to be fun and exciting. This unpredictability and suspense is what keeps things exciting.
So, if you’re constantly checking their social media or questioning them about their every move, you’re taking away that thrilling suspense. Which reduces your level of attraction in their eyes.
When you’re like an open book that reveals every little twist right away, no one will want to read you.
Personal Space, Please!
Like I said before, healthy relationships require space. And this also includes PERSONAL space.
Think of personal space as an invisible bubble around each person. Clinginess is like someone trying to burst that bubble, constantly and continuously.
It can make your partner feel trapped rather than cherished. And if they feel trapped, they’ll start having thoughts about wanting you to leave them alone.
Think of how much helicopter parents are annoying and how they can ruin their relationship with their child very quickly. Would you ever want a partner who’s like an annoying helicopter parent? Of course you wouldn’t!
Everyone needs time to recharge and do their own thing. If you’re always around, it can feel like you’re invading their bubble. And let’s be honest, no one enjoys a bubble invader.
That’s why both you and your partner need your alone time. To focus on other things, like hobbies, studies, friends, and so on and so forth. And to rest from each other so you can start missing one another.
The Pressure Cooker Effect
Besides personal space, you also need to think about the amount of affection you show your new potential partner.
Have you ever felt like you’re being smothered by someone’s constant affection?
It’s like being in a pressure cooker where you’re always on the brink of boiling over.
Clinginess at the start of a relationship, when you’ve just started dating each other, can make your partner feel like they’re under constant pressure to respond, reciprocate, or reassure you.
Instead of a warm and fuzzy feeling, they might start feeling overwhelmed and stressed out. And trust me, that’s not the recipe for a happy relationship.
So remember, most people will feel you’re way too much trouble and won’t want to date you if you go overboard with your affection, to the point of being overbearing.
Why Are We Clingy And What To Do About It?
Being clingy often stems from insecurity or a lack of self-confidence. It also shows you have poor self-esteem.
If you’re constantly seeking validation from your partner, it will make you appear needy and dependent on them. And co-dependence is incredibly unhealthy in a relationship, not to mention unattractive.
But here’s the thing – when you’re secure in yourself and your worth, it shows. It’s like having a built-in charm that makes you way more appealing. So, instead of seeking constant reassurance, work on building your self-confidence and self-esteem and let it shine.
Don’t Lose The “Cool Factor”
Think back to your most exciting and fun relationships. What made them great?
It’s usually because both people were chill, relaxed, and enjoyed each other’s company without overthinking every little detail.
Clinginess can kill that “cool factor” incredibly quickly. So you have to keep things cool and casual, and let the connection grow naturally. And simply enjoy each other’s company.
Remember, confidence and a relaxed attitude are way more attractive than a constant barrage of messages, affection, compliments, and similar things.
The Need for Independence
One of the keys to a successful relationship is maintaining a sense of independence.
When you’re too clingy, it can seem like you’re trying to merge lives prematurely. But independence is important for personal growth and happiness.
A healthy relationship should support both partners in pursuing their own interests and goals. If you’re always tagging along or demanding constant attention, it will definitely hinder that independence and your relationship won’t grow into something healthy and wonderful.
Ever had that friend who’s always calling you, asking what you’re doing, and why you haven’t replied yet? They can be exhausting, right?
Now, imagine being in a relationship with that person. It’s draining even just thinking about it. And it will put unnecessary strain on both partners.
Once again, the best relationships are those where both people can “just chill” and enjoy each other’s company without constant pressure. So, take a deep breath, relax, and let things unfold at their own pace.
The “Guilt Trip” Syndrome
Being clingy often also comes with a side of guilt trips.
If you’re constantly trying to control your partner’s time and attention, you might unintentionally make them feel guilty for wanting to spend time apart.
Such guilt trips create resentment and frustration, and they’re not exactly a recipe for a happy and healthy relationship. Instead, focus on building trust and allowing space, so both of you can enjoy the relationship without feeling guilty.
Final Thoughts: Keep it Cool
Alright, here’s the ultimate takeaway: Clinginess is like adding too much spice to a dish – it can and in most instances WILL ruin the flavor.
Relationships thrive on balance, trust, and space.
Instead of constantly seeking validation or attention, work on building your self-confidence, self-esteem and enjoying your own company. So you can enjoy your relationships with other people much better.
That’s because relationships should enhance your life, not dominate it. So, let’s keep things cool, relaxed, and fun. After all, the best relationships are those where both partners feel comfortable and free to be themselves, without pressure.
