Things You Should Have Learned in Sex Ed (but probably didn’t)

If you’re anything like a large proportion of people who’ve made it through the American schooling system, you probably didn’t have a robust or informative sex ed experience. So, here is a list of some things you should have learned in sex ed, but probably didn’t.

1. Pee after sex. I don’t remember how or when I learned this, but it definitely wasn’t in sex ed. Every time you have sex you should pee, and you should head to the bathroom sooner rather than later. Peeing will help prevent you from getting a UTI, which you don’t need a class to tell you that you want to avoid.
2. Never use 2 condoms. I remember when the myth that using 2 condoms at once is better was floating around when I was a teenager. I thought it had been disproven for good, but then I saw a women’s magazine warning against it, so it must still be out there. So once again, for the people in the back: never use 2 condoms at once! The condoms will rub against each other causing friction which increases the risk of the condom breaking.
3. Always, always, always use protection. Unless you’re fluid bonded with your partner and trying to get pregnant, you should be using some sort of protection. It is possible to get pregnant if you have sex during your period. You can definitely get pregnant if you use the “pulling out” method, which is not a viable birth control method. Besides the worry of pregnancy, STIs are no joke: use condoms, internal condoms, or dental dams to protect yourself.
4. Get tested for STIs regularly. As mentioned above, STIs are no joke. Even if you’re using barrier protection and communicating with your partners, it’s still possible to get an STI. Getting tested frequently will ensure that you can get the treatment you need in a timely manner.
5. Most women can’t orgasm from penetration alone. The majority of women need clitoral stimulation. I’ve had friends who thought there was something wrong with them because they couldn’t orgasm during intercourse, but it’s totally normal! To figure out what you and your body need, spend some time with yourself (masturbate more!) and talk with your partner about what does and doesn’t work for you.
6. Sex isn’t like porn or rom-coms. A lot of people’s first exposure to sex is on the screen.  Whether it’s a classic romantic comedy or porn, these are accurate representations of what sex is actually like. Sex isn’t usually a well-choreographed scene where everyone instinctually knows where they need to be and what they need to do. Sex can be awkward and imperfect, especially when you’re with someone for the first time. So, communicate with your partner, and don’t be disheartened if real life is messier than fiction.
7. Sex isn’t shameful or embarrassing. Sex can be a lot of things. It can be amazing, silly, or even awkward, but it should never be something that causes you to feel bad about yourself.

At Maze we speak with women regularly who are still learning about their bodies and overall sexual health despite having finished their schooling. If you find that you have questions about whether something is “normal,” contact us for a free phone consultation.