After you break up with someone, it’s normal to feel like the dissolution of the relationship was all your fault. Whatever is inspiring you to take on that kind of guilt about your relationship, there’s one thing you need to know: no one person is ever responsible for a relationship’s end. We all contribute to a relationship, both its growth and its demise.
Knowing that is one thing, but believing it is another thing entirely. And the best way to get over a relationship is to get to the bottom of what happened so you can put your mind at ease. Upon reflection, we should be able to see that a relationship didn’t solely end because of things we did or did not do.
That said, this same amount of distance and space should give you the time to be able to assess how you contributed to the downfall of the relationship so you can see the warning signs earlier and try to adjust accordingly in your next relationship.
This visual personality test reveals the why people break up with you.
Simply look at the optical illusion image below and pay attention to what catches your eye first. Then read on to find out what it reveals about the reason people break up with you.
1. If you saw the apple first
If you saw the apple first, the reason people break up with you is your need for solitude. You love your partner and you love spending time together, but you need your space. Unfortunately, you aren’t always good at asking for it.
If you don’t ask for what you need, you can’t be mad when you don’t get it. Better to ask and find out it’s a problem ahead of time than to push your feelings down and wind up exploding.
2. If you saw the vase of flowers first
If you saw the vase of flowers first, the reason people break up with you is your passion for perfection. You don’t just expect people to be perfect; perfection brings you joy — be it in the way the a table is set just so, or in the organization of a budget.
Try to find beauty in the mess because even the most wonderful person is still just a person and thus incapable of ever being perfect. That’s what makes people so wonderful!
3. If you saw the face first…
If you saw the face first, the reason people break up with you is your love of connecting with new people in every way. You just can’t help yourself. You’ve got a wandering eye.
You don’t mean to cheat or to fall in love with a co-worker and never act on it, it’s just something that happens. Love is a splendid thing, sure, but true love is built on a foundation of trust. If you don’t have that, you don’t have anything.
Rebecca Jane Stokes is a freelance writer, editor, former Senior Editor of Pop Culture at Newsweek, and former Senior Staff Writer for YourTango. Her bylines have appeared on Fatherly, Bustle, SheKnows, Jezebel, and many others.
