Layna and her girlfriends had a habit that was slowly destroying her marriage. It had nothing to do with partying or staying out late. Neither did it have to do with time away, money spent, or bad behavior of the typical kind.
However, this habit was as damaging to her marriage as a slow, growing antibiotic-resistant bacteria that was making her marriage sicker and sicker. It took root when she was on the phone with her friends, and then got a strong hold over coffee, and completely took over her girlfriend’s shopping trips.
Even worse, it was contagious. Some of her friends caught it, and it began to have serious adverse effects on their marriages. What was this mystery ailment operating and spreading behind the scenes with Layna and her friends?
The innocent habit that she couldn’t quit that would eventually lead to divorce? Husband-bashing.
Xavier Lorenzo via Shutterstock
When Layna had the ear of a friend, she would inevitably drift the conversation in the direction of her husband, Josh, and how lazy he was around the house. She cursed the day they bought the Xbox because now all he wanted to do was play that thing. What he didn’t want to do was yard work, especially not housework. Not to mention, he hardly talked to her anymore.
Layna was fit to be tied, and as she talked to her friends about this issue, she found out she wasn’t alone. There was a lot of good company in the husband dissatisfaction club. A lot of the girls were feeling frustrated, overworked, and unappreciated. Their sentiments are supported by research published in the Adultspan Journal. As the conversation gained steam over the weeks and months, the club seemed to grow.
At first, Layna was comforted by the fact she wasn’t alone in her husband-bashing.
It wasn’t exactly like “misery loves company,” but in her heart, the camaraderie of the complaining was nice. She sort of thought they were providing a nice service to each other. Complain to each other, spare your man the complaints.
She also knew none of the men were being spared any nagging. In her case, at least, the more she complained to the girls, the more fire she had to take to Josh.
The law of attraction simply says you get more of what you put your attention on. Layna and ladies played this law out to their detriment, and before they knew it, they had way more of what they didn’t like in their husbands on their hands than they knew what to do with.
After several months of this behavior, Layna realized, with some help from her mother, the error of her ways. Old habits die hard, but Layna has sworn off the griping behind his back and, even though she was a charter member, has left the club of husband bashers.
Fast forward six weeks and the Xbox is broken, the yard is mowed, and Josh is building a tool/potting shed. She says they have a place to work outside together. Coincidence? You decide for yourself. I think not. Layna agrees with me.
The moral of the story is that words are powerful creators in and of themselves. Be careful what words you speak about the people you have to live with.
Lisa Hayes C.Ht. is a law of attraction relationship coach and author. She specializes in helping people get the love they want, no matter where they are in their lives.
